it should have been us.

she should not have had to have to suffer through all that.

the void that now is scratching at me, climbing onto my lap and letting me feel
its vibrations is the worst punishment we could have imagined.

we took her presence for granted, and used it as an ersatz to fill whatever
physicality we were lacking of.

the yearning has grown stronger and the despair at its infeasible resolution
even still.