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Login: unixguru                         Name: Jason Eckert
Directory: /unixguru                   Shell: /bin/plan.cat
Last login Sat Nov 20 23:42:30 2021 UTC
Mail forwarded to jason.eckert@gmail.com.
Aside from being 98% chimp, I do computery stuff - visit jasoneckert.net

As for .plan files? Garages are rarely used to store cars and .plan files are 
rarely used to store plans. So I shall fill mine with funny mottos:

Don’t Anthropomorphize computers. They hate that.

Linux isn’t magic. It’s sudo-science.

Kids: Don’t try this at ~

I see dead pixels.

cd /pub; more beer

There is no place like ::1

/* No Comment */

I came. I saw. I copied. Thank you Stack Overflow.

Talk nerdy to me.

I don’t flip tables when programming, I DROP them.

Typos. That’s just how I role.

HTTP 200 jokes are OK.

The first US state that any foreign developer should visit is Maine.

My goal as a software engineer is to retire without getting blamed for a major 

If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0!

Nerds have big disks.

When I see a door with a push sign, I pull first to avoid conflicts.

Go away or I will replace you with a very small shell script.

To quote Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 3, Line 87: “No.”

The PC term for Christmas is C:\hristmas

A romantic dinner would be incomplete without an email about a critical 
production bug.

The best thing about a boolean is that if you are wrong, you are only off by a 

According to my co-worker’s diary, I have boundary issues.

The first step in solving any problem is to dramatically underestimate its 

If you are vegan and use Arch, what do you tell people first?

Any job can be a dream job if you fall asleep at work.

I’m so old, I can remember going through an entire day without taking a picture 
of something with my phone.

Go big or go ~

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On 
my desk, I have a work station.

I saw a great movie about databases today. I can’t wait for the SQL.

Big Data is anything that will crash Excel.

Just sudo it.

Errors are bad
My system doesn't boot
Because I've deleted /etc/fstab

* * * * * /bin/true 5 star cron job. Would definitely run again!

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Git reset --hard
When Ctrl+z won't do

Android is just Linux in drag.

I may have no life, but at least I can prove it mathematically.

Only two things are infinite: The Universe, and the 40-day trial of Winrar.

Home is where you hang your @

007 is really dumb permissions to have on a spy.

Ubuntu is an ancient African word that means “I can’t configure Debian.”

:w saves!

UNIX creationists believe that the world was created on January 1st, 1970 and as
prophesied, will end on January 19th, 2038

stop(); //HammerTime

Mathematical puns are the first sine of madness.

I’m sorry. It was your Sharona the whole time.

Jurassic Park was a cautionary tale about the dangers of underpaying IT workers.

Newton’s Law of Probable Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be
evenly distributed.

Technically, it isn’t hoarding if your stuff is cool.

A Haiku for getting up for work:
   No no no no no
   No no no no no no no
   No no no no no

Tell Marie Kondo that the reason I have so many old SUN computers in my basement
is because they all SPARC joy.